Guide | Challenges and Resilience During Pregnancy: Mothers Share Their Experiences
Pregnancy is often seen as a joyful time of preparing for a new baby. In reality, it is not always as ideal as films and television suggest. Many expectant mothers face challenges, uncertainty, and distress. Here, several mothers describe their hardest moments and what helped them cope.
I Learned to Ask for Help
My first pregnancy went fairly smoothly despite some discomfort. My second was completely different: I felt nauseated all day during the first trimester. Caring for a two-year-old left almost no time to rest, and I was constantly exhausted. Sharp pain from loose hip and pelvic joints made sitting and lying down uncomfortable. Persistent physical pain and declining mental health made the experience extremely difficult.
What helped me: Ginger and acupressure bands did not relieve the nausea much. Sleeping whenever possible and eating frequently worked best. Carbohydrates were the only foods that did not make me nauseated, so I carried chips and chocolate peanut butter. Physical therapy helped the joint pain somewhat, and I started counseling. Most importantly, I learned to ask for and accept help. Trying to be “superwoman” only exhausted me further; the greatest relief came when I let my husband, family, and friends help.
— Stephanie Ilagi, Durham, North Carolina
I Spent Too Much Time Alone
During my first pregnancy, my symptoms were fairly typical—some morning sickness early on and fatigue later. My second pregnancy was completely unexpected.
What helped me: Fortunately, two mothers in my church group were also pregnant, and we formed close friendships. I could share my experiences, and they often checked on me. Another friend who had experienced severe pregnancy nausea, or hyperemesis gravidarum, gave me significant help and support.
— Krista Martin, Phoenix, Arizona
I Was Afraid of Becoming a Mother
As an only child, my only experience with babies was having someone hand me one who would always cry in my arms. I thought I was not good at caring for children. My husband wanted children, but I was unsure because I was focused on my career.
What helped me: After becoming a mother, I gradually adjusted and was surprised to find that I loved it. I learned to manage pregnancy nausea by eating protein rather than only carbohydrates, and therapy helped ease my anxiety.
— Samantha Radford, Altoona, Pennsylvania
I Did Not Feel as Happy as I Thought I Should
I was happy about the idea of pregnancy, but I did not enjoy being pregnant. It felt as though an unfamiliar living thing was inside me, and I felt completely changed.
What helped me: I eventually accepted that the feeling would not last long. Most importantly, I believed I would have a healthy baby. If more people acknowledged that pregnancy is not always wonderful, other new mothers might feel less alone and overwhelmed.
— Krista Wallach-Boop, Wichita, Kansas
I No Longer Recognized Myself
I had always wanted children but never imagined carrying a pregnancy myself. After my wife tried fertility treatment without becoming pregnant, I decided to try. The pregnancy weight gain was difficult for me.
What helped me: My wife is Korean and uses a lot of ginger in her diet. I drank about four cups of ginger tea daily, which helped greatly. Walking also helped me feel better.
— Corita Lewis, Playa del Carmen, Mexico
Managing Pregnancy Complications
I knew in my 30s that I wanted a child, but work delayed my plans. At 40, I finally decided to try on my own. My pregnancy was very difficult.
What helped me: Friends and family supported me through the hard days. My obstetrician and midwifery team also helped greatly. I used acupuncture for anxiety and created a safe mental space for myself.
— Miriam Steinberg
Developing Gestational Diabetes
I thought pregnancy would be a special time to bond with my baby, but my experience was entirely different. I developed gestational diabetes and needed insulin injections, exercise, and a carefully managed diet, adding stress to the pregnancy.
What helped me: I recognized the importance of reframing my thoughts—pregnancy would not last forever; it was only a short period.
Guide | Challenges and Resilience During Pregnancy: Mothers Share Their Experiences
Guide | Challenges and Resilience During Pregnancy: Mothers Share Their Experiences
Pregnancy is often seen as a joyful time of preparing for a new baby. In reality, it is not always as ideal as films and television suggest. Many expectant mothers face challenges, uncertainty, and distress. Here, several mothers describe their hardest moments and what helped them cope.
I Learned to Ask for Help
My first pregnancy went fairly smoothly despite some discomfort. My second was completely different: I felt nauseated all day during the first trimester. Caring for a two-year-old left almost no time to rest, and I was constantly exhausted. Sharp pain from loose hip and pelvic joints made sitting and lying down uncomfortable. Persistent physical pain and declining mental health made the experience extremely difficult.
What helped me: Ginger and acupressure bands did not relieve the nausea much. Sleeping whenever possible and eating frequently worked best. Carbohydrates were the only foods that did not make me nauseated, so I carried chips and chocolate peanut butter. Physical therapy helped the joint pain somewhat, and I started counseling. Most importantly, I learned to ask for and accept help. Trying to be “superwoman” only exhausted me further; the greatest relief came when I let my husband, family, and friends help.
— Stephanie Ilagi, Durham, North Carolina
I Spent Too Much Time Alone
During my first pregnancy, my symptoms were fairly typical—some morning sickness early on and fatigue later. My second pregnancy was completely unexpected.
What helped me: Fortunately, two mothers in my church group were also pregnant, and we formed close friendships. I could share my experiences, and they often checked on me. Another friend who had experienced severe pregnancy nausea, or hyperemesis gravidarum, gave me significant help and support.
— Krista Martin, Phoenix, Arizona
I Was Afraid of Becoming a Mother
As an only child, my only experience with babies was having someone hand me one who would always cry in my arms. I thought I was not good at caring for children. My husband wanted children, but I was unsure because I was focused on my career.
What helped me: After becoming a mother, I gradually adjusted and was surprised to find that I loved it. I learned to manage pregnancy nausea by eating protein rather than only carbohydrates, and therapy helped ease my anxiety.
— Samantha Radford, Altoona, Pennsylvania
I Did Not Feel as Happy as I Thought I Should
I was happy about the idea of pregnancy, but I did not enjoy being pregnant. It felt as though an unfamiliar living thing was inside me, and I felt completely changed.
What helped me: I eventually accepted that the feeling would not last long. Most importantly, I believed I would have a healthy baby. If more people acknowledged that pregnancy is not always wonderful, other new mothers might feel less alone and overwhelmed.
— Krista Wallach-Boop, Wichita, Kansas
I No Longer Recognized Myself
I had always wanted children but never imagined carrying a pregnancy myself. After my wife tried fertility treatment without becoming pregnant, I decided to try. The pregnancy weight gain was difficult for me.
What helped me: My wife is Korean and uses a lot of ginger in her diet. I drank about four cups of ginger tea daily, which helped greatly. Walking also helped me feel better.
— Corita Lewis, Playa del Carmen, Mexico
Managing Pregnancy Complications
I knew in my 30s that I wanted a child, but work delayed my plans. At 40, I finally decided to try on my own. My pregnancy was very difficult.
What helped me: Friends and family supported me through the hard days. My obstetrician and midwifery team also helped greatly. I used acupuncture for anxiety and created a safe mental space for myself.
— Miriam Steinberg
Developing Gestational Diabetes
I thought pregnancy would be a special time to bond with my baby, but my experience was entirely different. I developed gestational diabetes and needed insulin injections, exercise, and a carefully managed diet, adding stress to the pregnancy.
What helped me: I recognized the importance of reframing my thoughts—pregnancy would not last forever; it was only a short period.
— Kelley Kitley
Source:
Collected online