Knowledge | The Emotional Reality of IVF: A Physical and Mental Marathon
Nearly 100,000 U.S. babies each year—about 2.6% of all births—are conceived through in vitro fertilization (IVF). It helps thousands of families have children, but behind this achievement are major physical, psychological, and emotional challenges.
Abby Fischer and her husband began trying to conceive one year after marriage and received a positive result on their first attempt. “I joked to my husband, ‘Everyone says getting pregnant is hard, but it was so easy for us,’” she recalled. An early miscarriage followed, then a chemical pregnancy.
Fischer used ovulation tests and discovered she did not ovulate every month. As she approached age 35, she sought help from a reproductive endocrinologist.
After five cycles of ovulation-inducing medication, IVF was presented as their best chance. For Fischer, this began a physical and emotional journey through fear, grief, and disappointment.
“I knew nothing about IVF,” she said. “I only knew it involved many needles, and I have always been terrified of injections. I did not want to reach this point. It felt like my last hope.”
IVF medication and mood changes: PMS magnified 100 times
IVF medication stimulates multiple follicles in one cycle so more eggs can be retrieved. These synthetic versions of natural hormones are given at much higher-than-natural levels and can cause pronounced mood changes.
“I often tell patients it is like premenstrual syndrome magnified one hundred times,” said Tendai M. Chiware, MD, Director of Third-Party Reproduction at Genesis Fertility.
Medication may also cause bloating, hot flashes, and headaches, alongside anxiety about correct administration.
Rachael Jones, a family nurse practitioner and Vice President of Clinical Strategy at WIN Fertility, noted that responses vary, but mood during menstruation may offer some indication of how a person will respond.
Dr. Chiware added that existing coping strategies, including medication or counseling, may be especially helpful during IVF.
Endless waiting
IVF involves repeated waiting, with one wait often followed by another.
“Every stage is a hurdle,” Dr. Chiware explained. “You may clear many stages and still have no normal embryos. A transfer may be negative, or a pregnancy may end in miscarriage. The entire process is emotionally unpredictable.”
“Do not become too attached to any timeline,” Fischer advises people starting IVF. “Stay present and focus on the next step.”
It is easy to imagine future milestones, such as being pregnant beside the Christmas tree, but she recommends moderating expectations.
Sharing is your decision
Whether to disclose an IVF journey is personal. Sharing brings relief for some and greater anxiety for others.
“I recommend setting boundaries around sharing,” said Dr. Chiware. “You are already carrying a lot and may not want constant requests for updates.”
Jones noted that disclosure may also reveal unexpected support from people with IVF experience.
Emotional triggers are everywhere
Social media, gatherings, and casual conversation can intensify an already emotional process.
“Even a pregnancy announcement from a college classmate could upset me all day,” Fischer said. “It felt like a reminder that my body could not do what others did easily. I felt jealous and hurt, then guilty for feeling that way.”
After two egg retrievals and three embryo transfers, Fischer reached the second trimester. She announced it carefully.
“I wrote a long social-media post and had to mention IVF and what we experienced,” she said. “I wanted people still struggling to feel: ‘I understand. I have been there. You are not alone.’”
Building emotional resilience
Emotions cannot always be controlled, but coping skills can keep them from becoming overwhelming.
Manage stress actively: Meditation, breathing exercises, journaling, moderate exercise, baking, and art may help. Set aside time daily for something calming.
Seek psychological support: Counseling, therapy, and online or in-person support groups can help. Clinics can often provide referrals.
Fischer found community through the nonprofit AllPaths Family Building.
“You can speak honestly and see other women nodding on screen. You feel understood, accepted, and seen,” she said.
Communicate with your partner: IVF can strain both the body and the relationship, and intimacy may become dominated by procedures and schedules.
“Although you undergo the physical demands, your partner is also experiencing emotional changes,” Jones said. “Communicate openly so both people feel heard and understood.”
Be kind to yourself: Consider what burdens you can set aside. This is difficult work, and you need space and compassion.
“IVF is a marathon, not a sprint,” Dr. Chiware concluded. “Many people undergoing IVF are among the strongest I have met, but they must also practice self-compassion.”
Looking back, Fischer said: “I never thought I could endure all of this. Now I realize I am far stronger than I imagined.”
Knowledge | The Emotional Reality of IVF: A Physical and Mental Marathon
Knowledge | The Emotional Reality of IVF: A Physical and Mental Marathon
Nearly 100,000 U.S. babies each year—about 2.6% of all births—are conceived through in vitro fertilization (IVF). It helps thousands of families have children, but behind this achievement are major physical, psychological, and emotional challenges.
Abby Fischer and her husband began trying to conceive one year after marriage and received a positive result on their first attempt. “I joked to my husband, ‘Everyone says getting pregnant is hard, but it was so easy for us,’” she recalled. An early miscarriage followed, then a chemical pregnancy.
Fischer used ovulation tests and discovered she did not ovulate every month. As she approached age 35, she sought help from a reproductive endocrinologist.
After five cycles of ovulation-inducing medication, IVF was presented as their best chance. For Fischer, this began a physical and emotional journey through fear, grief, and disappointment.
“I knew nothing about IVF,” she said. “I only knew it involved many needles, and I have always been terrified of injections. I did not want to reach this point. It felt like my last hope.”
IVF medication and mood changes: PMS magnified 100 times
IVF medication stimulates multiple follicles in one cycle so more eggs can be retrieved. These synthetic versions of natural hormones are given at much higher-than-natural levels and can cause pronounced mood changes.
“I often tell patients it is like premenstrual syndrome magnified one hundred times,” said Tendai M. Chiware, MD, Director of Third-Party Reproduction at Genesis Fertility.
Medication may also cause bloating, hot flashes, and headaches, alongside anxiety about correct administration.
Rachael Jones, a family nurse practitioner and Vice President of Clinical Strategy at WIN Fertility, noted that responses vary, but mood during menstruation may offer some indication of how a person will respond.
Dr. Chiware added that existing coping strategies, including medication or counseling, may be especially helpful during IVF.
Endless waiting
IVF involves repeated waiting, with one wait often followed by another.
“Every stage is a hurdle,” Dr. Chiware explained. “You may clear many stages and still have no normal embryos. A transfer may be negative, or a pregnancy may end in miscarriage. The entire process is emotionally unpredictable.”
“Do not become too attached to any timeline,” Fischer advises people starting IVF. “Stay present and focus on the next step.”
It is easy to imagine future milestones, such as being pregnant beside the Christmas tree, but she recommends moderating expectations.
Sharing is your decision
Whether to disclose an IVF journey is personal. Sharing brings relief for some and greater anxiety for others.
“I recommend setting boundaries around sharing,” said Dr. Chiware. “You are already carrying a lot and may not want constant requests for updates.”
Jones noted that disclosure may also reveal unexpected support from people with IVF experience.
Emotional triggers are everywhere
Social media, gatherings, and casual conversation can intensify an already emotional process.
“Even a pregnancy announcement from a college classmate could upset me all day,” Fischer said. “It felt like a reminder that my body could not do what others did easily. I felt jealous and hurt, then guilty for feeling that way.”
After two egg retrievals and three embryo transfers, Fischer reached the second trimester. She announced it carefully.
“I wrote a long social-media post and had to mention IVF and what we experienced,” she said. “I wanted people still struggling to feel: ‘I understand. I have been there. You are not alone.’”
Building emotional resilience
Emotions cannot always be controlled, but coping skills can keep them from becoming overwhelming.
Manage stress actively: Meditation, breathing exercises, journaling, moderate exercise, baking, and art may help. Set aside time daily for something calming.
Seek psychological support: Counseling, therapy, and online or in-person support groups can help. Clinics can often provide referrals.
Fischer found community through the nonprofit AllPaths Family Building.
“You can speak honestly and see other women nodding on screen. You feel understood, accepted, and seen,” she said.
Communicate with your partner: IVF can strain both the body and the relationship, and intimacy may become dominated by procedures and schedules.
“Although you undergo the physical demands, your partner is also experiencing emotional changes,” Jones said. “Communicate openly so both people feel heard and understood.”
Be kind to yourself: Consider what burdens you can set aside. This is difficult work, and you need space and compassion.
“IVF is a marathon, not a sprint,” Dr. Chiware concluded. “Many people undergoing IVF are among the strongest I have met, but they must also practice self-compassion.”
Looking back, Fischer said: “I never thought I could endure all of this. Now I realize I am far stronger than I imagined.”
Source:
Collected online